--
If you fall, i'll catch.
If you love i'll love.
And so it goed my dear.
Don't be scared.
You'll be safe.
This I swear,
If you only loved me back.
~the Misery- Sonata Arctica
Goed geschreven, lekker kort, dat doe je niet vaak maar bevalt prima. Wat kleine kritiekjes: ik zou "It's" (eerste woord) voluit schrijven, als "It is". (dat is vooral lekker voor de uitspraak, voor de rest maakt het niet echt uit geloof ik.) En ik vind "under" (regel vier) niet zo mooi, dat zou iets van beneath moeten zijn alleen heb je dan alliteratie met Buried. 'Underneath' kan ook, dat gooit het ritme wat door de war maar da's wel mooi op zich (vind ik). De laatste regel is gewoon klasse ^^
oeh en nog een foutje in je AC: "...without making the poem lose it's strength...", dat moet natuurlijk 'its' zijn.
--
Music is an art form whose medium is sound organized in time. The word derives from the Greek μουσική (mousike), '(art) of the Muses'. - Wikipedia
> "Halt, evildoers!" < "Oh, this ought to be good." > "...pun intended?"
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Comments
--
If you fall, i'll catch.
If you love i'll love.
And so it goed my dear.
Don't be scared.
You'll be safe.
This I swear,
If you only loved me back.
~the Misery- Sonata Arctica
oeh en nog een foutje in je AC: "...without making the poem lose it's strength...", dat moet natuurlijk 'its' zijn.
--
Music is an art form whose medium is sound organized in time. The word derives from the Greek μουσική (mousike), '(art) of the Muses'. - Wikipedia
> "Halt, evildoers!"
< "Oh, this ought to be good."
> "...pun intended?"
Bij "Beneath" heb je zeker ook een punt.
En dat it's en its doe ik steeds fout. Ik verander het steeds als ik denk dat het fout is, en dan wordt het juist altijd fout. xD
--
"Yay for tree-hugging, guitar-playing-and-singing-along, tye-dye-shirt-wearing, pacifistic, long-haired, bisexual hippies!" --Me
Spread the hugs! [link]
--
"Yay for tree-hugging, guitar-playing-and-singing-along, tye-dye-shirt-wearing, pacifistic, long-haired, bisexual hippies!" --Me
Spread the hugs! [link]
yay
ja dat ken ik
glad to've been of help ^^
--
Music is an art form whose medium is sound organized in time. The word derives from the Greek μουσική (mousike), '(art) of the Muses'. - Wikipedia
> "Halt, evildoers!"
< "Oh, this ought to be good."
> "...pun intended?"
--
"Did you dream?"
No
"Tell me a dream?"
I rarely dream
"You're broke."
Quote from an awesome comic by Fehed Said & Shari Chankhamma called 'The Clarence Principle'! Vist their website link
--
"Yay for tree-hugging, guitar-playing-and-singing-along, tye-dye-shirt-wearing, pacifistic, long-haired, bisexual hippies!" --Me
Spread the hugs! [link]
--
"Did you dream?"
No
"Tell me a dream?"
I rarely dream
"You're broke."
Quote from an awesome comic by Fehed Said & Shari Chankhamma called 'The Clarence Principle'! Vist their website link
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